My next greatest de-stressor

You want to know what my greatest de-stressor (outside of letting God have all your problems and your whole life) is? It's no secret.

Kids. Yup. I spent five hours with these kids. They are adorable. They are playful. They climb on me. They punch me. They demand attention. They pull me in all directions. They want their turn. They cry in front of me. They want my affection. I try to help with their hurts. I don't know what they see in me, but they love me and I LOVE them. They get downright dirty. They spend hours outside. No video games. No movies. Just nature. They have goats. They have rabbits. They have cows. They have dirt in their fingernails and toenails. They take care of themselves. They use their imagination. They entertain themselves. They have wonderful parents who love them to no end.

 

Five kids or I should say, monkeys, on a trampoline

Excuse the video changing from landscape to portrait, one of the kids videoed us. If kids mean a lot to you, you wouldn't mind putting a crick in your neck to view this video.

 
These kids from the Reinhard family are in addition to other kids I enjoy having around. My nephews, my little cousins, and the students from school I volunteer at. Ever since vacation Bible school in Lesoto, Africa and my pastor shoved me out of my comfort zone, I've spent time with kids and I've learned that I can work and play with them well. Communication is hard sometimes, but the kids don't care. I have one student that will write to me so I can understand him.

I cannot help but be thankful that none of these kids I've played and worked with were not aborted. If they had been, they would never have been a part of my life and they are a HUGE part of my life. I would not have had a chance to love them. I would not have had a chance to de-stress with them, to re-prioritize, and to see life from their perspective. Their perspective is simple and honest and they have the simple faith that we so much desire as adults.

Vincent and Uncle Stanley in Gulf Shores, AL.

Easter 2012

They aren't haunted by the grim reality we adults face or the extensive knowledge that we amass in our minds. You tell children about Jesus and they simply believe. They don't question Him. They just believe and they are awed by the miracles that He did. They are easily influenced or easily forced into reality all too soon, unfortunately, in some cases. I hate that. I want to keep their minds free to imagine and free to learn at their own pace. Who cares if they can add when they are four and can do cursive when they are five? Let them be creative and imagine all they want. They'll come to you with questions, indeed, and you should always think a little bit before answering them. What they are asking may be completely opposite of what you think they are asking.

Raise them to be good men and good women. Teach them about God. Teach them the stories of the Bible. They love stories! Talk to them about everything they are doing and seeing and put God into the equation. Surely they will bind everything about their necks that you teach them about God's Word and His creation. What you teach them, they will always remember and always go by it or apply it. Let's just pray that they, when they become teenagers and then young adults, they will choose God. Let them choose. We cannot do that for them. They must do it themselves. Also, we can pray that we are doing our best. We are just mere mortals and we think we know best for them, but God is the only one. But, remember, God entrusted us with the duty of teaching our children the way they should go. We will make mistakes, we will fail them, but the children forgive. They are so forgiving. It doesn't stop there though; we must go to them and fix whatever hurt we've caused them or let them know that we have failed them at one time or another. They must know that we didn't mean to hurt them or fail them. They must know that they will someday have the same duty of teaching their children and will go through the same thing we went through raising them up. They MUST know about humility and generosity. These two are the basics of living for others and living simply and for God.

This is what I said to the kids' mother in the first photo. "I can't wait to have eight children!" She exclaimed, "Eight?!"

What? She's short only one. Surely one more couldn't be much worse.

Well, well, we'll just see about that. This mother had just been trying to create order in her seven children and trying to get them in the vehicle to make an errand and it took five minutes to do that. Such the life. But it's so rewarding. Am I willing to wear myself out raising my children or spending time with children who always need attention and to be taught? Yes.

Ok. I've said enough now. I'm ready to see some kiddos, but I will need some sleep first when I get home from work. I'm anxious to see my nephews later today.

Look for the next post. We speak of the Passion of the Christ during Passion Week, but what about the passion of the Christian? The Muslims are passionate about killing anyone who is not a Christian. Are we passionate about showing our love to others, winning souls to Christ, and being persecuted for His sake?

What I realized about myself after Justice Ride

In my previous post, I mentioned that I hoped that my life will be changed after I completed my trip with Created Equal, a pro-life activist group. I can attest to this. I did not realize the impact this trip would have on me until I had been home for a few hours. It was overwhelming. I communicated with God for a while and I felt a sense of peace wash over me. I cried. I prayed. I praised God from my heart. I totally opened up and let God have me. I am His. I am not my own.

I’ve had to admit a few things to God and make confessions. I had to take complete responsibility for my wrong choices and actions. I have been blaming, either directly or in my mind, people in my life for the wrong choices I’ve made. This has to stop. It is affecting my relationships with people I love and the creation of new relationships.

 I will never be whole and I will never reach the complete manhood every man so desires if I continue to live in “adolescence”. This adolescence I speak of is the fantasy world a man lives in where he does not take responsibility for his actions and continues to chase after things that may only temporarily please himself and where he thinks he knows everything and is right about everything, never taking advice or constructive criticism from elders, children, (Yes, children. We fail so many times to see through the eyes of children), wives, best friends, co-workers, and our bosses and ultimately, God. I draw a few of these facts from a book I am currently reading, Fatherhood Aborted, written by Guy Condon and co-author David Hazard, pages 25-26 (?). I recommend this book to men, whether post-abortive or not.

Man was created to have intimate relationship with God. Man was also created to have intimate relationships with our fellow beings, women and men both. Man, for the most part, has failed in this area. Man in America and other developed countries has been taught to hold emotions in a sealed package, to carry secrets and burdens on his shoulders, to prevent others from seeing into himself, to not share any of these feelings, burdens and secrets with others. Man is taught to just be the stereotypical (emotionless and adventure-less) man, to tough it out, to not cry, to not share, to pursue only the things in life that will make him a better man in the eyes of the world and other men. Man is either tyrannical (sense of control) over his family or intimidated (sense of failure) by his wife and children, failing to set his foot down and taking up his Biblical responsibility to be a leader who is a servant as well. Bottom line, man thinks he has failed God and that he can never restore his relationship with the people in his life and with God. The devil works diligently to discourage man and to make him think he is nothing more than a stumbling block to himself and others, destined to fail again and again.

Last month, I posted that I prayed to Jesus that he would come into my heart and go straight into the wounds I have in there and I will meet him there. I asked for a new beginning, for healing, for divine inspiration to a path to wholeness, to manhood. No, our sexuality and associated endowment or the lack of or sexual prowess do not define our true manhood, though our sexuality is powerful & potent and affects many areas of our lives. I wanted to be the man Jesus himself was. He was lowly, humble, lived a life of compassion, and was a servant to the people he lead. Yes, a leader is one who is a servant, the one and the same. I do not see myself as a leader (a huge leap of faith here), but I know I can become a better servant. My pride prevents many of these things. I hate it so much. I hate my pride. I hate it. It prevents me from complete humility. I have to get rid of it and it will take a conscious effort to do it. Many negative thoughts, such as anger, envy, jealousy, and pride come into my mind involuntarily and I must make a habit of thinking on the good thoughts of forgiveness, generosity, compassion, and humility at ALL times to counter these negative thoughts. They are the work of the devil. I ask for the grace of God and power to help me with this.

Now, having said this, I have a burden lifted off of my shoulders. I basically got rid of more of my pride when two different people, a man and a young woman came to me last week during my trip. As I was talking to them, the subject shifted to my faith and my walk with God. The young man at the University of Florida questioned me about my faith and my belief that God existed. The young woman at the University of Central Florida, Grace was her name, questioned me about what I defined as true repentance and whether I knew and practiced the Great Commission (Ezekiel 3:18-21). I had to admit that I did not know the Great Commission, though I had heard of it and that I did not practice this. I had only merely tried to be a witness through my actions and I have failed in this area. My actions have not very often been void of carnal reactions to situations. I was quick to anger, quick to blame others, quick to sulk when I did not get my way, and quick to negative thoughts that affected every area of my life. Realization began to dawn on me as I was reading Fatherhood Aborted (I have never participated in an abortion of a child. I read this book to understand so I can help others.), that I must take responsibility and to stop letting my carnal flesh control me. I must turn my carnality over to God and be accountable to God. I know full well that He can restore me and make me whole again. I know He will make me a man, His son.   

My faith in God has increased. My prayers were answered last week. He never fails me. I want to get closer to Him through dedication to daily devotion and prayer. I understand the risks of following Jesus, but I am willing to take the risks!!

I need to go. I am going to work on my journal this week and will transfer everything to the blog about the Justice Ride. Check back later this week, if you will.

God bless! Have a wonderful Sunday and week!

Divine Direction

The Godly need divine direction or else they will stray. Many times, we all make impulsive decisions or react rashly without thinking or praying. This can create grief and regrets. Asking for divine direction will lead us straight and true and will be very rewarding, either now or later.

In the case of David and his army's men whose homes had been plundered and burned by the Amalekites in Ziklag, their wives and children captured, it is easy for the men to rage against their leader, David, and for David to revenge his men because of his loss. David instead asked the Lord for divine direction on what to do next. The Lord gave specific instructions on how to destroy the Amalekites and to retrieve their plundered goods and their wives and children. They had the victory! David listened to God.

Asking for divine direction is the best thing to do in all situations. I am learning a little bit about this. I have not sought divine direction in many situations and have taken them into my own hands. I end up in more trouble than before by acting impulsively or rashly and that's when I start asking God. Whoa. Only asking God when I get myself into a mess? It's not the way to go. I know it well, but I am selfish. I want to control my life and I want to do what I want to do. I have been like this for much of my life and I don't have very much experience in asking for divine direction.

Typical? Yes. It's the culture. It's the American way of life. It is also the worldly way, but it is very emphasized and marketed in America. Nike's "Just do it" slogan says it all. Burger King's "Have it your way" slogan says it all. Well, I don't want it anymore. I want to be a part of a bigger story, the story that God wrote for me. I am not my own author, but God. He has the big picture and my picture or story I try to write for myself is just an itty-bitty part of it. I feel lost in this little picture I have for myself. Of course, I'll never see the big picture. Faith will just have to do while He leads me, weaving my life into a beautiful love story, which is the intimate relationship with Him. All else will fall into place perfectly.

We stumble through life trying to make a story, wondering why we are here, what our purpose is and how the pieces are supposed to fit together. Try watching a movie by starting in at 20 minutes and stopping at 20 minutes before the end. You wouldn't get the big picture, just a part of it. This is what happens when we write our own stories instead of letting the Author, God, do it. Better yet, He already has your story all written out even before you were wonderfully made in the womb! He wants you to live out that story, if YOU'LL JUST LET HIM orchestrate your life.

So, I want to let Him. It is a battle of the flesh and it is difficult at times to let myself go. My intelligence tells me I can take care of myself and that I can do it. But my faith must be stronger and more child-like. I must become like a child in my mind and say, "I can't do it. I need you to help me Father." God absolutely delights in this! He delights in helping me, I'm sure and I just believe that I am never too much for Him to handle, especially with some of the messes I've been or I've made of myself. He delights in straightening me out and helping me out of the miry clay. He is LOVE, He can't help it. He'll do it, no matter what.

I mentioned in my last post that I would be writing on divine direction. I'm glad I stuck to my word. I wanted to write about divine direction because of the situation I'm in with my house. I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to make sure it was the voice of God speaking to me, guiding me in all steps. I am glad to have this divine direction and it seems that all will turn out good. It's taking time and it seems slow, but it is being done in God's perfect timing. I had actually prayed that the house will be sold and out of my hands, but it looks like I may have the house in my name for six months more and up to a year at the most, but I am trusting God. Mr. Grimes, the broker, has mentioned a couple of times that they way it is being handled is helping both parties, the buyers and I, financially in these hard economic times, so it has been a blessing. The rent the buyers are paying before acquiring a mortgage goes towards the purchase of the home and I will simply let them take over the loan or they will buy for principal amount. No haggling or negotiating the market price. Simple.

Thank you, Lord. I need more divine direction and you know I will be asking you! I know you delight in directing me in your story and that you delight in rewarding me during the story and in the end. Amen.

Faith

It is faith. Faith is what makes you right with God. I know I am right with God. Why? Because I simply believe in God, in who He says He is, and in what He says He will do.

It's hard to understand sometimes, especially when you don't know the facts or details. We can't see the whole picture, but I'm glad I don't have too. It would be to difficult!

My church attendance, tithing, and adhering to standards of holiness aren't what makes me right with God, it is my relationship with Him, my faith in Him.

It is proved here: And Abram believed the LORD, and the LORD counted him as righteous because of his faith. (Genesis 15:6 NLT)

Father in Heaven, I pray that you will be with me as I begin a new week. I ask you to walk with me in my journey of healing and to help me increase my faith in you by showing me your miraculous works. Amen!

Re-committment

I am in need of re-committing myself to the good Lord. I have drifted away, indeed. I am feeling lost, wanting to be found. He will find me and draw me closer. Did He not leave behind the ninety and nine, just to find that one which had gone astray?
Re-kindling the fire! What a joy it is to watch a fire that has almost died down, seemingly dead, but, alas! When the poker does agitate the settled ashes, the glow shall be found. The glow is needed to re-kindle a fire bright and strong, but only if small sticks of faith were added, then branches of belief, and finally branches of humility. The fire will warm one's heart and when one allows it, the warmth will be shared with others. It all feels good and wonderful.