Turning point

I've been miserable. Depressed.

It's because it's been busy at work. And I've been lonely at home. 

Work is mundane. I have a whole three bedroom house to myself.

Mundane makes me irritable. Having no company makes me think no one cares.

Irritability just makes me have a bad attitude about work. And being home alone.

I bring it home and sulk alone in my house, all night, til I'm tired enough to sleep.

I then sleep all day. I've missed a lot of the summer and I'm missing the wonderful weather now. I've also wasted a lot of hours that could have been spent productively (and there's plenty to do!!) or visiting family.

Time to change things up. And get accountability.

Instead of sulking at home, I've decided to USE that time, rather than waste it watching Netflix or eating junk. I've already been going to the gym, but it isn't everyday that I go. So other things have to fill in that time. I've decided to start reading the Bible or related devotional material. I've decided to just talk to God. I've decided to rebuild my relationship with Him.

I read something in an issue of Our Daily Bread.

If being "religious" means following a set of rules so we can look good---instead of enjoying a relationship with the Savior---Jesus isn't interested.

Granted, He isn't. Nope.

He said, taken from Our Daily Bread as well, "outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside [they] are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness" of the Pharisees in Matt. 23:28. They didn't have the love of God in their hearts (John 5:42). Jesus wanted a relationship with them, but they were "not willing to come to [Him]" (v. 40)

True religion is to know

The love that Christ imparts;

True religion is to show

This love to burdened hearts. 

-D. DeHaan

These things being said, and I'm saying all these things to myself, that I forget to take the time to have a relationship with Jesus. I may do many good things and I may refrain from doing bad things, but all that effort does nothing. I remind myself of the grace imparted to me from God and it is only that, that keeps us in our salvation. So I'm getting back on track. Funny that we keep falling off, but granted, we have SO MANY things that distract us. Do you text and drive? I do. I know, I know, it's dangerous. But yeah, I cross the line, I drift into the shoulder and hit the "BbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbBb" of the rumble strip. Yeah, but my "safety net" is that I usually text when traffic is clear. So, that's going off the track because of my distraction with the phone. I think that most of you know what I mean. Modern day is so full of them. The devil loves to use them against me and I give in. A lot. And waste a lot of time.

So, in changing it up or reaching a turning point, I'm starting new and doing what I mentioned above. Also I'm starting to...blog! Yes. I like it. It's ok. Maybe I'll be a grain of salt to someone. A beacon of light. Encouragement. I dunno. We'll see.

Also, I'm learning something new too. Something productive. It doesn't hurt to at least learn about it, if not be a part of it. Forex trading. More on this later. But it's interesting! I like numbers anyway. And jargon.

Right now, I'm at work and this blogging IS the distraction from my job. Oops. Oh, well. We've been SO busy, we lab techs deserve a little bit of slow times before it gets busy again.

I want this t-shirt.

I want this too. The adrenaline rush of speed gets beat by nothing. At least for me.

Good night, ya all. 

Stanley Jr.

Divine Direction

The Godly need divine direction or else they will stray. Many times, we all make impulsive decisions or react rashly without thinking or praying. This can create grief and regrets. Asking for divine direction will lead us straight and true and will be very rewarding, either now or later.

In the case of David and his army's men whose homes had been plundered and burned by the Amalekites in Ziklag, their wives and children captured, it is easy for the men to rage against their leader, David, and for David to revenge his men because of his loss. David instead asked the Lord for divine direction on what to do next. The Lord gave specific instructions on how to destroy the Amalekites and to retrieve their plundered goods and their wives and children. They had the victory! David listened to God.

Asking for divine direction is the best thing to do in all situations. I am learning a little bit about this. I have not sought divine direction in many situations and have taken them into my own hands. I end up in more trouble than before by acting impulsively or rashly and that's when I start asking God. Whoa. Only asking God when I get myself into a mess? It's not the way to go. I know it well, but I am selfish. I want to control my life and I want to do what I want to do. I have been like this for much of my life and I don't have very much experience in asking for divine direction.

Typical? Yes. It's the culture. It's the American way of life. It is also the worldly way, but it is very emphasized and marketed in America. Nike's "Just do it" slogan says it all. Burger King's "Have it your way" slogan says it all. Well, I don't want it anymore. I want to be a part of a bigger story, the story that God wrote for me. I am not my own author, but God. He has the big picture and my picture or story I try to write for myself is just an itty-bitty part of it. I feel lost in this little picture I have for myself. Of course, I'll never see the big picture. Faith will just have to do while He leads me, weaving my life into a beautiful love story, which is the intimate relationship with Him. All else will fall into place perfectly.

We stumble through life trying to make a story, wondering why we are here, what our purpose is and how the pieces are supposed to fit together. Try watching a movie by starting in at 20 minutes and stopping at 20 minutes before the end. You wouldn't get the big picture, just a part of it. This is what happens when we write our own stories instead of letting the Author, God, do it. Better yet, He already has your story all written out even before you were wonderfully made in the womb! He wants you to live out that story, if YOU'LL JUST LET HIM orchestrate your life.

So, I want to let Him. It is a battle of the flesh and it is difficult at times to let myself go. My intelligence tells me I can take care of myself and that I can do it. But my faith must be stronger and more child-like. I must become like a child in my mind and say, "I can't do it. I need you to help me Father." God absolutely delights in this! He delights in helping me, I'm sure and I just believe that I am never too much for Him to handle, especially with some of the messes I've been or I've made of myself. He delights in straightening me out and helping me out of the miry clay. He is LOVE, He can't help it. He'll do it, no matter what.

I mentioned in my last post that I would be writing on divine direction. I'm glad I stuck to my word. I wanted to write about divine direction because of the situation I'm in with my house. I wanted to do the right thing. I wanted to make sure it was the voice of God speaking to me, guiding me in all steps. I am glad to have this divine direction and it seems that all will turn out good. It's taking time and it seems slow, but it is being done in God's perfect timing. I had actually prayed that the house will be sold and out of my hands, but it looks like I may have the house in my name for six months more and up to a year at the most, but I am trusting God. Mr. Grimes, the broker, has mentioned a couple of times that they way it is being handled is helping both parties, the buyers and I, financially in these hard economic times, so it has been a blessing. The rent the buyers are paying before acquiring a mortgage goes towards the purchase of the home and I will simply let them take over the loan or they will buy for principal amount. No haggling or negotiating the market price. Simple.

Thank you, Lord. I need more divine direction and you know I will be asking you! I know you delight in directing me in your story and that you delight in rewarding me during the story and in the end. Amen.