There is never a time I stop thinking...

There is never a time I stop thinking about my TLC (Touching Lives for Christ) trip to Lesotho and South Africa. I go back over my pictures from the mission trip, reminisce, and just wish I can do more. I really miss working with the Gaults and the people of the village of Matukeng. The three weeks I spent there was a great time of fellowship and working for the Lord. I have a longing to go back. Maybe, if the Lord willing, I can someday. I must tell Jesus my desires, I must ask Him, I must pray. Anything I ask in His Father's name, He will grant to me. In His time; perfect time.

Although I am thankful for all the things we can enjoy for the glory of God, I usually come to the realization that we don't need the modern materialism we have here in America. In my opinion, it has gotten out of hand. We must be careful. Upon returning from the simple life in Africa, I came to realize that I depended on material things to keep myself satisfied, to keep me going. Always gaining, always desiring, always never happy enough with it. BUT...when I place my trust in the Lord, as Brent Vernon's 'I Place My Trust' quotes, I hold onto Jesus' name and there is nothing else I would want to hold onto.

Know Jesus, know peace. No Jesus, no peace.

When you know Jesus and you've lost everything, YOU'VE LOST NOTHING. When you don't know Jesus and you've lost everything, YOU'VE LOST EVERYTHING.

I was taught right from wrong when I grew up. I had loving parents who loved me very much and cared that I grew up knowing the Lord and writing upon my heart everything that I learned. I'm deaf, you know, and there are many, many things that I may have missed in the sermons or seminars that I've attended all my life. Knowing this, I should put every effort to find someone who may help me understand what the sermons were about or finding spritual books and studying these along with the Bible. Unfortunately, I have not put enough effort into this in my lifetime. So, I grew up knowing only what I know and what I do know very well are the holiness standards. These are what I have lived on and I have followed these for many years until I came to the realization that these are not what makes a Christian fully satisfied in the Lord. These are merely guidelines that greatly help differentiate the true Christians from the world and we should stick to them, but they should not become the 'good works' for attaining salvation. Now, I never tried to attain salvation through 'good works' for I know better than this, but I came not to depend on these standards so much that I only felt hypocritical. My greatest desires today, since turning myself completely over to the Lord, is to show what is in my heart. The salvation and love of God in my heart should flow to the outside and this is what the world sees. This is what they look for and this is what differentiates us from the world. Then, as the Lord directs my life and molds me, I shall dress and act as He wants me to. I must listen and be very careful not to confuse the whisperings of the devil and those of God's. Overall, it is in humbleness in all things I do that is very important; pride should NOT overtake me. I should not be proud of anything I do, but be humble and always ready to be corrected by God should I move outside the appropriateness of Christian living.

Wow, I must have been thinking way more than I thought. For anyone who reads this, I would greatly appreciate any comments. I have put my thoughts here and would love correction if needed or more understanding. I have been in trouble for twisting the facts when I did not mean to. It is my fault for not studying as I should and for asking the Lord for a clear understanding of what I am learning when studying. It is my desire to do what is right and live a clean life before Jesus. If I'm wrong here somewhere, comment.

Adeiu.

As the days go by...

As the days go by, I continue to struggle to be more prayerful, to deepen my desire to read and study God's word, and to put my entire trust in God. There are many days that I don't feel like I'm a Christian and it can be depressing. But I do know that this is Satan working. He works so incredibly hard to destroy your very soul, which is indescribably precious to God. Sadly enough, I've made it too easy for Satan to work his wiles against me. I must use Scripture and prayer as effective tools against Satan and to have victory over him.

Ephesians 6:11, NLT: Put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.

As I have mentioned in the last blog, I have someone with whom I hold my accountability and this person has helped me tremendously by explaining a few things that I didn't understand at all or completely. He has helped me to see things from a different light. I am thankful for his help. I came across Scripture speaking of friendship and I find this so true:

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, NLT: Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Brittany has also been helping me. I have to work four Sunday nights out of seven. I will go to www.hobesoundbiblechurch.com and watch the service online. Although I don't know what is being said, Brittany helps me out by typing up notes and sending them to me via email. The singing is also nice compared to some of the coworker's music I'm stuck listening to and I don't quite care for some of it. Heavy metal? Eww. Haha. I'm so thankful for this and Bro. Wolfe has spoken great sermons. Thanks to Brittany for the extra time to help someone out in need. :)

Just to mention some of my favorite passages:
Proverbs 4
Romans 6
John 3

I read them in KJV, NLT, and then Matthew Henry's Commentary. This greatly helps me to understand what I am reading. I have read this Scripture over and over and it only gets better everytime. :)

Ok, not to let this get too long, but I want to let you know that the blog helps me to keep myself going. I don't want to have to say that I've quit trying or given up on God, saying it's too hard. I want to keep myself moving forward toward the Glory Land some sweet day. And I can record that in here. And you'll know that I have a testimony.

So, I had better get to my duties at work. It's quite boring tonight.

I hope to post something about photography soon. It's getting warm out and I'm raring to go out and capture some great shots. :)

Bye ya'll.

The beginning

Hello, I just thought I'd start a blog and put my thoughts up for everyone to see. Although I'm not exactly comfortable with the idea, but I'm sure I can post my thoughts and desires up here that I wouldn't mind my family, friends, and some strangers, should they come across my blog, knowing.

So, I will say that I have been thinking about life and what I am missing from it. I can say, concerning material things and worldly desires, that I am not really missing anything. Yet, I have not been very happy with my being here. There is something missing and I very, very well know what is missing. For the past three years, my spirituality has been in the dumps and I have started over and over several times, but I never use the tools needed to keep going and to grow. I fail each time. I didn't go to anyone for help. I didn't use the Word. I didn't take time to be humble, bow to my knees, and have a direct talk with God. Oh, I would think of Him daily and send thoughts up to God, but that apparently didn't work in creating that wonderful friendship that one should desire and have with God. I didn't take the time to do this and my life has been so busy and I can say it is quite similar to trying to hopscotch on a treadmill at a speed high enough that you can barely keep up with the numbered squares.

Since the Sea Breeze Campmeeting in Hobe Sound, FL., I have given much thought about my own soul. Where do I want my soul to be? Where do I want to spend eternity?

Through the help and encouragement of a great friend (and with whom I hold my accountability for now), I finally returned to God after a long hiatus. I gave myself over to Him and have a great desire to know Him more and grow in His presence. I am now going to take the time to draw myself closer to God and I have no desire to lose Him this time. Jesus' return is so close, yet imminent, we cannot afford to drift in our spirituality.

That being said, this is the beginning of what I hope is a lifelong, however long it may be, relationship with God that will only grow more and more intimate daily, and will create a more and more perfect heart in me!

The next few blogs may include some discoveries I make or a study of what I already know but did not try to understand completely before or to apply to my daily living when I was doing well spiritually nearly three years ago. They may also include random happenings, thoughts, updates, and whatever I may want to include. So, I think I had better close for now and let you rest. :)